


sometimes its 3 am and you just gotta cry you know?

by hunterwho



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abusive Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider, Abusive Parents, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Meteorstuck, Moirails, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Romantic Friendship, Soft Karkat TM, dave is. Distant, god im glad thats an official tag, good 2 see that enough people see the light that is abusive Bro, i LIVE for these boys being pale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 12:25:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13053963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunterwho/pseuds/hunterwho
Summary: karkat and dave talk for a while. yes i know this is how most of my fics can be summarized but.(note this is moirallegiance! not <3! just <>! no sex here this is a christian server!!)





	sometimes its 3 am and you just gotta cry you know?

**Author's Note:**

> this was written as a short break from my "longer" camp fic which is giving me writers block and i havent worked on in eons. if you came from there please forgive me. in any case it is my pleasure to introduce angsty davekat, a trope that i came up with on my own and definitely has not been overdone in any way.
> 
> (in all seriousness i tried to give a unique twist to this plotline, without sex and with some pale pals at the end. enjoy!!)

It happens again.

The nightmares come back.

You’re alone, this time, and even though you know it’s a dream because dreambubbles, it doesn’t make it worse to strife with Bro again. It doesn’t make it easier to see his face again, to face all the difficult memories that go along with that face. It sure does make it easier to get beaten up, though, because he’s dead. He’s earned the right to beat your ass in every single fight, even if your time powers mean you could kill him easily.

You wouldn’t kill him. Even after what he’s done to you in the past, you could never kill him.

As always, you wake up, this time at 2:43 AM on the dot. Fuckin’ time powers, giving you an exact sense of how long you’d have to stay awake humming to yourself and trying not to cry because of emotions. God, crying would be the  _ worst _ , you’ve never cried in your life, except the first time Bro kicked your ass and you had to go to school the next day and everyone was really concerned. Also, coincidentally, your last day of school.

But apparently Mother Skaia has different plans for your night of attempting-not-to-cry, because it just so happens that Karkat is out in the den, staring into space. You say “Dude?” quietly, because if he’s asleep you don’t want to wake him, but then he pulls you down towards him into a hug and god, you’ve been  _ closer _ lately but not to the point where you’re hugging randomly at 3 AM, so you ask “Dude, what’s wrong?” He doesn’t answer, but from his reddened eyes and sniffles you can make an educated guess that he’s been crying. He’s still hugging you and it’s kind of awkward, so you lightly unhook his arms from around your waist and actually sit down on the couch next to him.

“Karkat, bro, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing you need to be worried about. Go to bed, Dave.” His voice is scratchy and rough from crying, and the way his voice breaks on  _ worried _ makes you want to keep him safe forever. You’d never say this, of course, and you’re supposed to be consoling him, dunkass.

“Well, considering you’ve clearly been crying and you’re my best bro, there is clearly something to be worried about here. So give me the details, please, I’m dying here.”

“It’s just- I’m-” He’s choked up, and even though you aren’t really ready to hug him, you can give him a sympathetic pat, which you do. It doesn’t help, and he bursts out crying.

“Okay, clearly you gotta work through some stuff. Wanna come to my room and talk about it somewhere cozier and less likely to wake up one of the Asshole Sisters?” He nods, and wipes at his nose with a hand. You offer him a hand to help him up, and he takes it gratefully. You lead him toward your room, and he doesn’t let go of your hand, but you know. He clearly needs the emotional support, and also he’s never been to your room before. You’ll let it pass.

Your heart jerks a bit when you put your hand on your doorknob. To think of what Bro would say to you if he saw a boy in your room pains you, but you remind yourself that he’s not around anymore and it’s Karkat, your best buddy in the world, and goddamnit he’s crying, open your door.

So you open the door, and guide him towards your bed. You sit down together, and you ask, again, “What happened?” 

He sighs. “It was a dream I had. The dreambubbles can be amazing sometimes, you know.”

“What was in it?”

“It was… All my friends. They were alive, and well, and Gamzee was his old self, and Sollux-” he swallows- “Sollux was alive and happy to see me and god, it was amazing.”

“Oh.” You don’t have much to say- you never really met any of them. But from how he talks about them, they were amazing and wonderful friends, all of whom have no flaws or faults in any way. Are you jealous of his dead friends? Maybe.

“Me and Gamzee… we actually did pale things. We took snoozes in the horn pile together, we talked through our issues, we combed each other's hair, it was amazing.”

“Sounds like it.”

“But then they left me, all of them left me, and all of their eyes were white, so white, and the dream slid away into the distance and I woke up, and I- I walked down to the den.”

“That sounds... tough.”

“You think?” His tone is suddenly much sharper. “God, sometimes I wish you could stop being such an asshole!”

“I-”

“You can’t be here for a guy who’s clearly saying he misses all of his friends? I knew you were emotionally distant, Dave, but this is a whole new level of fucked in the head!”

“I’m-”

“All I wanted was a decent set of friends, but instead I got you! You absolute-” His voice cuts off, and you realize you’re.

You’re crying. Salty, glassy tears spilling down your cheeks, running down your chin. You wipe them away because Bro would never allow this, no, never, he’d be so angry, he’d give you double the bruises, double the scrapes. You’d almost welcome that pain over Karkat’s expression right now. You’d tell him you’re okay, but there’s a lump in your throat that won’t go away. It’s making it kind of hard to speak. You suddenly feel like you need a hug, and considering Karkat is the only person around, you give him a hug. He squeezes you tight and it kind of just clicks, and you realize that yeah, hugs are nice, and you’ve been touch starved for your entire life, so you’re just gonna enjoy this for all it’s worth.

Eventually, Karkat pulls back, and asks, quietly, “What was that all about?”

“I just. I used to live with my Bro, right?”

“Your bro?”

“No, my Bro. Like, my… My lusus. That guy.”

“Oh, yeah, him. I remember him.”

“Well, he’s dead and he’s been dead for a while now. But when he was alive, he was violent.”

“Did he hurt you?” Karkat’s voice has changed from a scratchy almost-whisper to an angry, steely weapon, and you suddenly feel a rush of affection for this boy who’s ready to fight your dead brother.

“Yeah. A lot. In a lot of ways. He pretty much only interacted with me to set up his creepy puppets, kick my ass with a katana or a demonic puppet, or tell me how weak I was.”

“Oh, Dave, that sounds horrible!”

“And I dreamed about him. In the dreambubbles. It happens all the time. Always the same strife, he always kicks my ass, I always wake up and sit by myself until everyone else wakes up.”

“Wow, and listen to me talk about a couple friends I can see in dreams if I want. You’re dealing with… that, and I’m being so selfish, oh, I’m sorry-”

“Don’t mention it. It’s better for me to listen to other people’s problems. I’m fine, anyways. Don’t worry about me.” You give a casual shrug, as to nullify the tears currently drying on your cheeks.

“You need so much help, you absolute asshat, don’t just shrug off your feelings like that. They’re important.”

“If they’re so important, how have I only cried twice in my entire life? Riddle me that, Batman.”

“Disregarding the human pop-culture reference, you’re clearly emotionally depraved. You need a moirail, someone to look out for you, someone who’ll hold you and comfort you and help you not be so goddamn distant all the fucking time.” The implications of what he’s saying hit you halfway through, and your breath is catching in your chest for all the wrong reasons, because you want to do this but what would Bro say? You push your fluttering fears aside to ask a simple question.

“Do you want to be my moirail, Karkat?”

You’re half-expecting him to deny it, or to just say that oh, he wasn’t talking about himself, there’s this really great dead troll girl that you absolutely must meet, but instead, he just looks away, blushing, and says, “Yeah, kinda. I know you’re not gay, but it was worth a shot, you know?” And you don’t care what Bro might say about it, because you’ve taken his hand, and you’re looking into his eyes, and they’re beautiful in the low light, grey stained with red streaks. He’s beautiful, in general, and you wonder how you’ve failed to notice before. Before you can be damned by thoughts of your dead, abusive brother, you break the silence.

“I’d love to, actually.”

“Wait, what?”

You take his hand to your face and press it against your lips, and smile. Not a smirk, nothing casual, a real, genuine smile, and you can’t believe this isn’t just another dreambubble as he leans in and gives you a soft, sweet kiss on the cheek. Fluttery, chaste, but it feels like proof, proof that Bro can’t touch you, because you have a moirail- a moirail! It sounds so alien, but it’s so amazing!- who would do anything for you.

You’ve got Karkat, who’s taking you into his arms, and letting you cry again, but this time it’s tears of happiness and you feel so much better, like a weight’s been lifted, like your eyes have been opened for the first time, and he’s so pretty, so soft and kind and gentle under his prickly exterior, he’s just absolutely perfect and he’s all  _ yours _ .

You fall asleep for the first time since having these nightmares, in your moirail’s arms, and you sleep peacefully through the night.

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed it and you want to tie your name and profile to this fic forever feel free to leave kudos and also a comment! it is motivating and im very grateful. if you stan karezi and dont want your karezi friends to see you reading some accursed davekat, feel free to leave anonymous versions of the exact same things! i will be grateful either way.
> 
> (tysm for reading!!!!)


End file.
